Patriarchy
is so entrenched in most African settings that trying to separate it
from our humanness is unfathomable for most. Meanwhile, apologists
(including women) insist gender equality is a Western notion that will
never work in an African set up.
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| women participation on SMGEO seminars"Good Governance" at Ngerengere ward in Morogoro Region |
After
years of listening to the same rhetoric by a lot of men, government
officials and indeed some of my fellow women, that gender is a borrowed
word, that gender equality is a Western notion that misguided Africans
have imported, copied and pasted into African settings; and consequently
that the same gender equality will never work in an African set up, I
have decided to write back insisting upon the very opposite that gender
equality HAS to work, especially so, in African settings.
Patriarchy as a way of doing things has been so deeply entrenched in
most African settings – in our norms, values and customs – that trying
to separate it from our humanness and culture is not only unfathomable
for most, but also a deeply unsettling and unwelcome ‘impossibility’: a
very difficult process. And this is mainly for two reasons:
i. Like any other establishment, the systems and
structures of patriarchy have worked for centuries for a particular
group of society – men – which has benefitted immensely from having
privileged positions since time immemorial. Men in most sub-Saharan
African cultures, are born elevated already in the societal hierarchy.
Not only does society value men and boy children, society also finds
ways of blaming the woman if she bears only female children like this
writer’s mother had done. This writer comes from a family of five girls
and one little boy, the last born, and of the five girls one is of
another mother, yet in this blatant infidelity my father was still
cushioned by society with the excuse that he was looking for a male
child out of wedlock. So somehow this was acceptable because one is to
have a male child at all expense.
When our mother finally achieved this ‘feat’ of bearing a male child,
the rhetoric we got to endure was, ”hah, you will all be clapping to
your brother and showing him respect soon”; and, “he is now the head of
the family, you will all be coming to consult him,” and yet still,
“Sooner or later he will be beating all of you up!” I remember my father
telling this little brother of ours that, “don’t cry like a girl” with
utter shock as I had witnessed my father shedding tears more than once,
and it wasn’t even at a funeral! Indeed this is what little boys are
told quite a lot as they grow up, to man up, whatever this means, in the
media, at home, in churches and in school. Such a gender imbalanced set
up, commits two major serious crimes. It thwarts girls and women’s
dreams and aspirations as they grow up being told that they are lesser
than their male counterparts and secondly it makes young boys grow up
with such a burden of expectations that they are supposed to fulfil, of
which amongst them is an ill-conceived and misdirected ‘machoness’.
School
girls, Nigeria. Despite the hype about the benefits of educating female
children, patriarchy is so entrenched and internalised that the
tendency to deny female children education over their male counterparts
is still a common and accepted occurrence
ii. The second reason why patriarchy has been
particularly difficult to dismantle in African societies is because it
has managed to be as deeply entrenched as it is by using women as its
guardian. In the same way that slavery in the Americas used other slaves
whom they elevated above other slaves, (like butlers, stewards and
housekeepers) to keep the whole machinery of slavery well oiled and
functional; the butlers of this era would make sure other slaves knew
their place and thwarted the heads that would threaten to lift even
before they reached the white slave master’s attention. In this same
way, patriarchy has used women, older women mostly, to be its guardian
and keep its systems functioning. To sustain itself, patriarchy uses
women to suppress and oppress other women.
When a young bride is married in the Shona culture in Zimbabwe, she
has to go through a series of traditional rituals that welcome her into
the family. It is the other women from her new husband’s family who
actively take part in welcoming her into the family. It is the aunts,
the mother in law and other interested female relatives who make sure
she does the jobs and tasks a woman is expected to know how to do.
Women in church, tell younger women what is and what is not appropriate
to wear in church. Even at work, older female employees would put it
upon themselves to tell the younger women in their work place that some
of their dressing and behaviour was inappropriate. These are just
examples of how we women are used to keep patriarchy, in its place.
These older women feel they are doing men and society a favour by
keeping girls and younger women in straightjacket.
A country’s worth lies in the position and condition of their women,
so dear sub-Saharan African countries, ask yourself what is your worth.
When you select a cabinet of ministers with only 3 female ministers in
it, ask your yourself what is your worth Zimbabwe. When you pass a law
that legalises polygamy in your country, ask yourself what is your worth
Kenya. And when you pass a law that purports to protect women from
abuse by telling them what not to wear, ask yourself what is your worth
Uganda. Gender equality in Africa can work, it just needs to be given
the chance, support and commitment.
