10 things men can learn from women

CHARU AMAR & MONIKA RAWAL| 

10 things men can learn from womeWomen can teach men a thing or two! Some celeb women tell us exactly where men can use the help, to make the world a better place to live in ...

Lesson No. 1: Emotional quotient
They might call us overtly emotional, but that���s one thing that adds meaning to life. Ace director Kalpana Lajmi says, ���Men lack that maternal perspective. They can���t see things the way a woman does, enriching every relationship with depth, a healing touch and compassion. If men learn that, then the relationship between men and women would be quite easy.���

Suchitra Pillai, actor, says, "One thing that men should learn from women is to be more in touch with their emotions. This would include being aware of mood swings the partner faces. It would make questions like ���Are you upset?��� redundant. Women can teach men by not hiding their own emotions."

Rakhi Sawant, item girl, says, "Women have a lot of emotional strength. They can do a lot that men can���t even dream of. It���s wrongly believed that men are stronger than women. Whenever there is a crisis, it's men get depressed, lose their confidence and approach their lady for comfort.

Lesson No. 2: Think about the other���s pleasure as well
Now, this one goes for men who are obsessed with their own single-minded pursuit of happiness.
Alka Pandey, author, Kamasutra for Women says, ���Treating the other as equal becomes all the more important when it comes to your chemistry in bed. Men must understand that a woman���s pleasure is as important as a man���s.���

Lesson No. 3: Endurance
Well, you���ll never tag us as constant cribbers once you learn this art, which we are quite good at.
Singer Shibani Kashyap says, ���They might be physically stronger than us, but when it comes to emotional endurance, men still have a long way to go.���

Mehar Bhasin, says, ���Men certainly need to learn the ability to be patient in any situation ��� be it workplace pressure, ego clashes, selfishness, pride, etc. Women take longer to react because they know that men are impulsive. She knows how to be patient in all walks of life. Be it a mother waiting for her child���s results, a wife waiting for her husband to apologise for harsh words, or a girlfriend waiting for a commitment ��� men need that inner patience to deal with trying situations.���

Lesson No. 4: Respect woman
Guys, you better remember to dish it out otherwise you know where your relationship is heading!
Actress Mahima Choudhary says, ���They expect us to respect their clan, while they can���t even respect us. So, this is one lesson men should learn from women, particularly Indian men!���

Lesson No: 5: To multitask & balance
Now, this one���s a hit! Most women would love their men getting into the multitasking groove just like themselves.
Actress Shefali Shah says, ���Men can focus on just one subject at a time and that���s so irritating at times. And to add to the irritation they either focus on cricket, work or buddies. So, I think they should learn the art of balancing it well.���

Gurdip Kohli, TV actor, says, "A sense of balance is the biggest quality that a man can pick up from a woman. A man must discover the experience of trying to juggle personal and professional lives. Since I'm married now, I can see how important it is to achieve a balance between your work and home. Unfortunately, men don���t really understand this, so they need to be more efficient at balancing priorities."

Lesson No: 6: Forgive
This otherwise not so emotional breed will suddenly become the worst emotional blackmailers the moment they catch you on the wrong foot. They would either not forgive you and if at all they do, they���ll make you feel guilty forever!
TV actress Tina Parekh says, ���The day men learn to forgive and move on, there won���t be any fights between husbands and wives.���

Lesson No. 7: There���s more to sex than just being physical
Well, all the women who have been there and done that would agree that men get into the act for the act���s sake, while a woman gets into the act for sheer togetherness.
Sandhya Mulchandani, author, Indian Erotica says, ���Women give their whole self to the experience, while men just consider it a physical thing. So, if men learn to get more generous when it comes to foreplay and let emotions seep in while having sex rather than getting anxious about performance, bedroom relations will be much better.���

Lesson No. 8: Sense of commitment
It won���t be wrong to say that men are almost allergic to commitment. Be it sticking to a job, a partner or for that matter anything, they need a great deal of perseverance to make up their mind.
Playback singer Alka Yagnik says, ���Apparently, a man needs to learn everything from a woman ��� with commitment topping the list. Women exhibit a higher level of efficiency in everything they attach themselves to. So, I feel a man can learn this ���sense of commitment��� in whatever they do from a woman.���

Lesson No: 9: Devotion
Truly, hopelessly devoted ��� now, that���s a tough one for men!
Director Tanuja Chandra says, ���Women have this innate ability to be generous when it comes to devoting themselves to their near ones. They are impeccable when it comes to investing emotionally to the other���s concerns. Unfortunately, men lack that.���

Yes, Gender Equality Is A Men's Issue

One thing is for sure, if Emma Watson's speech on gender equality delivered at the United Nations last week was given by a man, the headlines we'd be reading would have nothing to do with the threat of leaking the speaker's nude photos.

While the threat of leaking Watson's nude photos was a hoax, it brings to light a very clear double standard, the same double standards in fact that Watson was highlighting in her speech: Gender inequality is alive and well.

In her speech, she urged the need for men to get involved in the fight for gender equality and announced the HeForShe campaign, which asks men to commit to speaking out against violence and discrimination faced by women and girls around the world.

Lost in the noise of nude photo threat/hoax, of course, is a discussion of the issues that Watson attempted to bring to light—issues like the fact that more than 95% of Fortune 500 CEOs are men; that while 40% of the agriculture labor force around the world is made up of women, less than 20% of women in those areas own land; that violence against women—at home, on campuses, and in the workplace—persists and is routinely ignored.

What's often overlooked in the discussion is precisely why the need for men to speak out on such gender equality issues is so critical, and moreover, how men can get involved.

GENDER EQUALITY AFFECTS MEN TOO

Fighting for women’s rights has become "synonymous with man-hating," as Watson put it in her speech. But gender equality benefits men as well.

With a growing number of men taking on the responsibility of caring for children as their parters work, breaking down traditional gender stereotypes is increasingly important. Research has also shown societal pressures to be aggressive and not reveal vulnerabilities can have negative affects on men. According to statics by the Center for Disease Control, suicide is four times higher among men than it is women. "Suicide needs to be addressed as a health and gender inequality—an avoidable difference in health and length of life that … affects men more because of the way society expects them to behave," according to a report by Samaritans, a U.K.-based suicide-prevention organization.

Bringing men into the conversation on gender equality takes a step toward breaking down those expectations of both genders. As Watson said in her speech, "It is time that we all perceive gender on a spectrum, not as two opposing sets of ideals."

How to do that? "We need to get men in the room now," says Claudia Chan, founder of the annual S.H.E. Summit. "Men need to get integrated into the movement."

SPONSOR MORE WOMEN TO BUILD THE PIPELINE OF WOMEN LEADERS

Having a senior leader who takes an active role in helping you move up in your company and career—also known as sponsorship—is a key way to fast-track your success. People with sponsors are 23%more likely to move up in their career than those without sponsors, according to research out of the Center for Talent Innovation.

Yet women are far less likely to have sponsors than men, which puts them at a clear disadvantage. "Sponsorship tends to power-replicate itself," says Sylvia Ann Hewlett, founder and CEO of the Center for Talent Innovation. The reason for that? Trust is a big part of the equation in sponsorship relationships, says Hewlett. "Trust does not often cross gender and race because it's easier to trust a mini-me," she says. But awareness is the first step in making a change. Recognizing those patterns, men in leadership positions can take a more active role in sponsoring women.

ACKNOWLEDGE THERE'S MORE PROGRESS TO BE MADE

This lack of advocacy from men is one key reason women hold only 3% of Fortune 500 CEO positions, according to a report by Hewlett, in which she calls the lack of such sponsorship "the last glass ceiling."

Consider the data. More women than men enter the white-collar workforce (53 women for every 47 males), yet as they move up, men are promoted to leadership roles at a far greater rate, with men in top executive roles outnumbering women four to one. The problem isn't just the disparity, it's also those male leaders' perception of the issue. "Male CEOs simply don’t see the lack of women around them, conditioned as they are by decades of initiatives dedicated to correcting gender inequities," Hewlett wrote. "While 49% of women think gender bias is alive and well today, only 28% of men agree."

But diversity in leadership benefits men just as much as it does women. According to the Global Leadership Forecast, which surveyed 13,124 leaders from around the world, those companies that were performing in the top 20% financially had nearly twice the amount of women in leadership roles compared to those in the bottom 20%.

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"Encouraging gender diversity in your leadership pool means greater diversity of thought, which, in turn, leads to improved problem solving and greater business benefits," according to the report.

KEEP AN OPEN MIND TO WOMEN'S ISSUES

Simply showing a willingness to acknowledge and understand the gender inequalities facing women is a huge step in getting the ball rolling. It's an unwillingness to engage in conversation over the issues that only perpetuates the problem.

In August, when Guardian columnist Jessica Valenti tweeted a question asking if anyone knew of specific countries where tampons are free or subsidized, she was met with a torrent of abusive tweets. Valenti had posed the question as part of herresearch for a column on the cost and availability of feminine hygiene products around the world—a problem particularly in developing countries. What she found, of course, wasn't just that access to such necessary health products is significantly lacking, but that speaking out on the issue made her an instant target for hate.

It's not uncommon for women speaking out on women's issues to be met with such criticism. Bringing men into the conversation in a productive and open-minded way is a crucial step to actually making progress on issues of gender inequality. Before significant progress can be made, there needs to be a willingness to simply show up at the table and listen. 

5 Legal Rights Women Have That Men Don’t

Janet Bloomfield

 

I’ve had an opportunity lately to speak to a lot of feminists about why so many young women are rejecting feminism, and one theme that has come up repeatedly is that feminism is interested in equal rights for everyone. I have yet to meet a single feminist who was not completely astonished to discover that not only do women have equal rights to men, they actually have more rights than men. Most feminists will backpedal when confronted with that reality and try to justify why they are deserving of more rights than men, but the stark fact remains that in 2014, women do indeed have more rights than men. Here are five legally enshrined rights that women have and men do not:-

1. Women have the right to genital integrity

Regardless of how you personally feel about the practice of circumcision (I personally find it barbaric, cruel and completely unjustifiable), the legal fact is that infant girls are protected against any genital cutting of any kind and infant boys are not.  Many feminists will argue that female genital mutilation (FGM) is a magnitude of brutality beyond male genital mutilation and while that may be true, I do not find the “it’s only a little bit brutal” argument to be very compelling. It’s like saying cutting off a toe is okay because cutting off a foot is much worse. Ultimately, the argument is immaterial to the fact that women have the legal right to be protected from having their body parts sliced off. Men do not.

 2.Women have the right to vote without agreeing to die

In the US, citizens are free to exercise their constitutionally guaranteed right to democratically choose their own leaders through the process of casting a ballot in an election once they reach the age of 18. Women achieve this right by the simple act of surviving 18 years. Men may not actualize their basic rights as a citizen without first signing a Selective Service card, in which they agree that at the discretion of the democratically elected government, they will take up arms and die to defend their liberty and way of life. The draft. Men may vote if, and only if, they agree they will face death if required. Women have no such obligation, but they do get to vote for the governments that can potentially send men to meet death. Again, regardless of how you feel about the draft, women have the right to vote without agreeing to be drafted. Men don’t.

 3.Women have the right to choose parenthood

I’ve written about this before, but it is worth repeating. Women have three options to absolve themselves of all legal, moral, financial and social responsibility for children they did not intend and do not want. Women may abort the child before it is born, they may surrender the child for adoption without notifying or identifying the father or they may surrender the infant under Safe Haven laws and walk away from all responsibility and obligation. Women cannot be forced or coerced into parenthood, but they are legally allowed to force men into financing their reproductive choices. In many states, men can be forced into financial responsibility for children whom they did not biologically father. As long as a particular man is identified as the father, he will be held accountable. Paternity fraud is legal. In no state is legal paternal surrender permitted without the express agreement of the mother.

Again, regardless of whether you agree or disagree with legal paternal surrender, the fact remains that women have the legal right to choose parenthood. Men do not.

4. Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children

When parental relationships irretrievably break down, current custody laws assume one primary caregiver (almost always a woman) and one tertiary caregiver (almost always a man). In order to win equal or shared custody, the tertiary caregiver must litigate to prove they are worthy of equal parenting, a proposition that is not only very difficult to “prove”, it is also very expensive. The legal presumption of shared parenting upon divorce – that children have a legal right to an equal relationship with both their mother and their father following relationship breakdown – is strongly resisted by the National Organization for Women (NOW) and other feminist organizations who know that women will almost always win custody of children under the default laws. In actual fact, men who can afford to purse legal remedies and challenge primary custody stand a good chance of winning, because women do not have the market cornered on loving or caring for children. So while the law does not specifically indicate that custody will be awarded to women, the defacto result of primary/tertiary caregiver custody law is that women have a legal right to be assumed caregivers for children. Men do not.

5. 5.Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape

The original FBI definition of rape specifically identified women as the victims, excluding the possibility of male rape victims. When the FBI updated that, it did so in way that includes a small minority of male rape victims but excluded most male rape victims by retaining the “penetration” clause. Penetration of any orifice must occur for rape to have happened. The FBI does collect another set of statistics though, under the category of “other sexual assault” – it’s the awkwardly named “made to penetrate” category, which includes men who were coerced, tricked or bullied into penetrative sex with women they would otherwise not have had sex with. 

The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 

Similarly considers the two types of assault separately, despite the fact that occurrences are virtually identical. 1.27M women report rape (p.18)  and 1.26M men report “made to penetrate” (p.19).  By collecting the information under separate categories, following the legal definitions, women have the right to have their rapes called “rape”. Men do not.

Why does any of this matter?  Feminism is under attack in the popular media for failing to address real problems that have real consequences for real people. Despite insisting that feminism cares for everyone, and wants equality for everyone, the facts suggest the opposite is true. Women have more rights than men and those discrepancies need to be addressed. But more importantly, gender is just one thing that defines who a person is, what advantages and disadvantages they might have, what opportunities are in front of them, or foreclosed. 

Class, wealth, race, ability, sexual orientation, ethnicity, religion – all of these things have a profound influence on individuals, and the only way to understand how a specific person can be helped or hindered is to see that person as a human being, first and foremost. Perhaps the reason I don’t need feminism is because what I really need is humanism. And maybe you do, too.

UN Under-Secretary about Women Situation in General-General and Executive Director of UN Women, Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka

 

Published: 09 March 2016

This year’s celebration of International Women’s Day was the first within the new 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development. Gender equality and the empowerment of women and girls are confidently asserted in that Agenda as intrinsic to progress.

The new Agenda’s Sustainable Development Goals include a specific goal to achieve gender equality, which aims to end discrimination and violence against women and girls and ensure equal participation and opportunities in all spheres of life. Important provisions for women’s empowerment are also included in most of the other goals.

In conjunction with the adoption of the 2030 Agenda, more than 90 governments have answered UN Women’s call for action to “Step It Up for Gender Equality”. Heads of State and Government have pledged concrete and measurable actions to crack some of the fundamental barriers to the achievement of gender equality in their countries.

Unanimously at the 59th Commission on the Status of Women in 2015, governments reaffirmed the Beijing Platform for Action. Businesses large and small are committing to, and implementing, shifts in culture and practice that foster greater equality and opportunity. Women individually, and civil society together, have called for lasting and transformative change by 2030.

With these unprecedented expressions of political will, the countdown to substantive gender equality by 2030 must begin, accompanied and underpinned by monitoring of accountability and evaluation of progress.  

We draw strength from this solidarity as we face world events such as severe population displacement, extreme violence against women and girls, and extensive instability and crises in many regions.

To arrive at the future we want, we cannot leave anyone behind. We have to start with those who are the least regarded. These are largely women and girls, although in poor and troubled areas, they can also include boys and men.

Women and girls are critical to finding sustainable solutions to the challenges of poverty, inequality and the recovery of the communities hardest hit by conflicts, disasters and displacements. They are at the frontline of the outbreaks of threatening new epidemics, such as Zika virus disease or the impact of climate change, and at the same time are the bulwark to protect their families, work for peace, and ensure sustainable economic growth and social change.

On International Women’s Day, we reiterate the greater participation of women as one of the necessary conditions for an inclusive Agenda 2030. Their leadership is insufficiently recognized but must emerge with greater participation in decision-making bodies. Each one of us is needed—in our countries, communities, organizations, governments and in the United Nations—to ensure decisive, visible and measurable actions are taken under the banner: Planet 50-50: Step It Up for Gender Equality.

We build on the commitments that have already been made by all governments. We also build on the legacy of determined and vocal participation by the small group of founding women from all parts of the world, who were in San Francisco in 1945 when the UN Charter was adopted. They laid the foundation for all that has followed in the struggle for the fulfilment of women’s rights.

The participation of women at all levels and the strengthening of the women’s movement has never been so critical, working together with boys and men, to empower nations, build stronger economies and healthier societies. It is the key to making Agenda 2030 transformational and inclusive.   

Happy International Women’s Day.

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making the community aware about gender issues is our responsibilities ! ..!!!

Tuache kuwakandamiza wanawake kwa matendo na kuwafariji kwa maneno!!

MOJA KATI YA MATUKIO YA AJABU DUNIANI YAKIAMBANA NA UPENDO, AFUNGA NDOA NA MAITI

 picha hii hapa ni wakati wa mapenzi yao kabla ya kifo kilichotokea

Moja kati ya matukio ya kushangaza sana hapa Duniani, ni tukio la kijana mmoja, aliyeomba kufunga ndoa na mchumba wake ambaye alifariki ghafla kutokana na ajali
muda mfupi kabla ya kufunga ndoa yao!!

Kijana mmoja Chadil Deffy  katika nchi ya  Thailand amefunga ndoa na  girlfriend wake ambaye amekufa ili  kutimiza ahadi yake ya upendo.  Kijana huyo mwenye umri wa miaka 29 na mchumba wake mwenye umri wa miaka 28 anayeitwa Sarinya Kamsook walikuwa wamepanga  kuoanamwaka huu.

Sarinya Kamsook kwa bahati mbaya alifariki katika ajali ya gari, siku moja kabla ya tukio kubwa la harusi yao, Deffy aliamua kuendelea na harusi yao kama ilivyopangwa. Sarinya alihusika katika ajali mbaya ya gari, na kupata majeraha makubwa. Madaktali walijitahidi kumhudumia . Hata hivyomadaktari wakiwa katika jitihada za kuokoa maisha yake ili na kuchelewa kumhamishia hospitali nyingi badala ya ile aliyokuwa amelazwa kuna na msongamano mkubwa. Na alifariki baada ya masaa sita. Ibada hiyo ya harusi iliunganishwa na ibada ya mazishi iliyofanyika katika kitongoji chaSurin, Thailand, kijana Chadil Duffy alimvisha pete mpenzi wake huyo ambaye ni  marehemu. Na tukio hilo likawa ni tukio la kipeke kutokea hapa duniani ambalo ni ibada ya harusi na mazishi kwa wakati mmoja.

 picha hii hapa inaonyesha matukio manne huyu kijana akimvika pete na kuonyesha aina zote za kufunga ndoa na mchumba wake ambaye sasa ni marehemu!!!

"Deffy na Sarinya alikuwa pamoja kwa miaka 10, na hatimaye waliamua kukaa chini. Walikuwawameahirisha  harusi mara kadhaa, kutokana na kutokupata muda muafaka na ukweli kwamba Deffyalitaka kumaliza elimu yake kabla ya kufunga  ndoa. Hata hivyo, baada ya kifo cha mpenzi wakeSarinya Deffy aliona hakuna kizuizi cha yeye kutimiza shauku yake ya kufunga harusi na mchumba wake huyo, hivyo aliamua kufunya harusi kabla ya kumzika. Sherehe hiyo ya Kibuddhist  ilifanyiakakatika mji wa Surin kaskazini mwa Thailand. Deffy  alisema mbele ya jamaa na marafiki waliokuwepo katika sherehe kuwa  ibada hiyo amefanya ili kuonyesha upendo wake mkubwa  kwaSarinya. Marafiki na jamaa kadhaa walihudhuria harusi hiyo, na tukio hilo lilivuta hisia za watu wengi nchini humo na kufanya TV ya taifa ya nchi hiyo kurusha tukio hilo live. Hadithi, pamoja na picha kutoka kwenye harusi hiyo sasa vimevuta hisia za watu wengi katika internet, hivyo kuzua mijadalakadhaa. "
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