UTAFITI: TALAKA INAWEZA KUKULETEA MATATIZO SUGU YA KIAFYA

Ingawa tafiti mbalimbali tayari zimeshaonyesha kwamba watu waliooa au kuolewa (wanandoa) wanaishi maisha yenye afya nzuri zaidi kuliko makapera , wanasayansi walikuwa bado hawajajua kinachotokea kiafya ndoa inapovunjika.

Utafiti mpya unaonyesha kwamba wanandoa wanapokuwa makapera tena ama kupitia talaka au kifo, mbali na kupata misukosuko ya kimihemko (emotions), mara nyingi afya zao pia huporomoka. Mporomoko huu wa afya huwa ni wa kudumu hata kama wakioa/wakiolewa tena baadaye. Ili nisirudie kila kitu katika utafiti huu, hapa chini ni baadhi tu ya mambo muhimu yaliyotajwa.

• Kiafya inaonekana ni bora kutooa kabisa kuliko kuoa na kuacha ama kuachika. Watu wa makamo ambao hawakuwahi kuoa wana matatizo sugu ya kiafya machache kuliko wale waliooa na baadaye kutalikiana au kufiwa na wapenzi wao.

• Kwa ujumla wanandoa waliotalikiana au waliofiwa na wapenzi wao wana matatizo sugu ya kiafya (mf. kisukari na saratani/kansa) mengi zaidi kwa asilimia 20 kuliko wenzao ambao hawajatalikiana au kufiwa na wenzi wao. 
• Japo kuoa/kuolewa tena kulionekana kuboresha afya, utafiti umeonyesha kwamba wanandoa waliorudia ukapela ama kupitia talaka au ujane, kamwe hawarudii afya walizokuwa nazo kabla ya ndoa zao kuvunjika. Watu ambao ndoa zao zilivunjika halafu wakaoa/wakaolewa tena walikuwa na matatizo sugu ya kiafya mengi zaidi kwa asilimia 12 kuliko wenzao ambao ndoa zao hazikuwahi kuvunjika. Kwa habari zaidi juu ya utafiti huu soma hapa chini

Divorce, It Seems, Can Make You Ill

By TARA PARKER-POPEAUG. 3, 2009

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CreditStuart Bradford

Married people tend to be healthier than single people. But what happens when a marriage ends?

New research shows that when married people become single again, whether by divorce or a spouse’s death, they experience much more than an emotional loss. Often they suffer a decline in physical health from which they never fully recover, even if they remarry.

And in terms of health, it’s not better to have married and lost than never to have married at all. Middle-age people who never married have fewer chronic health problems than those who were divorced or widowed.

The findings, from a national study of 8,652 men and women in their 50s and early 60s, suggest that the physical stress of marital loss continues long after the emotional wounds have healed. While this does not mean that people should stay married at all costs, it does show that marital history is an important indicator of health, and that the newly single need to be especially vigilant about stress management and exercise, even if they remarry.

“When your spouse is getting sick and about to die or your marriage is getting bad and about to die, your stress levels go up,” said Linda Waite, a sociology professor at the University of Chicago and an author of the study, which appears in the September issue of The Journal of Health and Social Behavior. “You’re not sleeping well, your diet gets worse, you can’t exercise, you can’t see your friends. It’s a whole package of awful events.”

The health benefits of marriage, documented by a wealth of research, appear to stem from several factors. Married people tend to be better off financially and can share in a spouse’s employer health benefits. And wives, in particular, act as gatekeepers for a husband’s health, scheduling appointments and noticing changes that may signal a health problem. Spouses can offer logistical support, like taking care of children while a partner exercises or shuttling a partner to and from the doctor’s office.

AdvertisemContinue reading the main storyBut in the latest study, researchers sought to gauge the health effects of divorce, widowhood and remarriage in a large cohort of people overAmong the 8,652 people studied, more than half were still married to their first spouse. About 40 percent had been divorced or widowed; about half of that group were remarried by the time of the study. About 4 percent had never married.

Over all, men and women who had experienced divorce or the death of a spouse reported about 20 percent more chronic health problems like heart disease, diabetes and cancer, compared with those who had been continuously married. Previously married people were also more likely to have mobility problems, like difficulty climbing stairs or walking a meaningful distance.

While remarrying led to some improvement in health, the study showed that most married people who became single never fully recovered from the physical declines associated with marital loss. Compared with those who had been continuously married, people in second marriages had 12 percent more chronic health problems and 19 percent more mobility problems. A second marriage did appear to heal emotional wounds: remarried people had only slightly more depressive symptoms than those continuously married.

The study does not prove that the loss of a marriage causes health problems, only that the two are associated. It may be that people who don’t exercise, eat poorly and can’t manage stress are also more likely to divorce. Still, researchers note that because the effect is seen in both divorced and widowed people, the data strongly suggest a causal relationship.

One reason may be changes at the cellular level during times of high stress. In an Ohio State University study, scientists analyzed blood samples of people undergoing the stress of caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease. The research focused on telomeres, which insulate and protect the ends of chromosomes; with aging, telomeres shorten and the activity of a related enzyme also declines.

Compared with a control group, the Alzheimer’s caregivers showed telomere patterns associated with a four- to eight-year shortening of life span. Dr. Waite said the stress of divorce or widowhood might take a similar toll, leading to chronic health and mobility problems.

None of this suggests that spouses should stay in a bad marriage for the sake of health. Marital troubles can lead to physical ones, too.

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In a series of experiments, scientists at Ohio State studied the relationship between marital strife and immune response, as measured by the time it takes for a wound to heal. The researchers recruited married couples who submitted to a small suction device that left eight tiny blisters on the arm. The couples then engaged in different types of discussions — sometimes positive and supportive, at other times focused on a topic of conflict.

After a marital conflict, the wounds took a full day longer to heal. Among couples who exhibited high levels of hostility, the wound healing took two days longer than with those who showed less animosity.

“I would argue that if you can’t fix a marriage you’re better off out of it,” said Janice Kiecolt-Glaser, an Ohio State scientist who is an author of much of the research. “With a divorce you’re disrupting your life, but a long-term acrimonious marriage also is very bad.”

Kama kawaida utafiti huu umefanyika kwa wazungu ambako kiutamaduni ni tofauti sana na nyumbani. Kwa mfano, ningependa kujua kama talaka ina madhara yo yote kiafya kwa mwanaume mwenye wake zaidi ya mmoja au mwenye nyumba ndogo.Nyumbani pia nadhani kwamba wanawake ndiyo wanaathirika zaidi na talaka kwani wao ndiyo hutakiwa kubeba visulupwete vyao na kuondoka. Huku Marekani mara nyingi mwanaume ndiye anafungasha virago vyake na kuwaachia mama (na watoto) nyumba.

• Mwathirika mkuu wa talaka, kwa maoni yangu, ni watoto! 

• Inasemekana India ndiyo ina idadi ndogo kabisa ya talaka wakati Sweden ndiyo inaongoza (ikifuatiwa na Marekani. Tazama chini
  

''Okusomboka'' mila ya ajabu ya kutakasa wajane kwa kuwabaka Ukerewe !!

Ni hatari sana hasa kwa kipindi hiki ambacho UKIMWI umeshika kasi kama gonja linaloangamiza watu na mara nyingi kwa kupitia ngono 

Ripoti ya Reuben Kagaruki

"Udhalilishaji huu uliojificha katika mila inayoitwa Okusomboka kwa Wakerewe ni tendo ambalo hufanyika kwa maana ya kuhitimisha uhusiano wa ndoa kati ya mume na mke aliyefiwa. Mila hiyo huhitaji uhusiano huo uhitimiswe hivyo sababu ulianzishwa kwa tendo la ndoa. Bibi alibakwa , mama akabakwa, dada amebakwa na mke wangu atabakwa nitakapofariki.

1. 
   Huo ndiyo uhalifu mkubwa uliojificha kwenye mila ya Okusomboka (kutakasa) kwa wakazi wa Ukerewe hasa kwa Wakara na Wajita.Kwa Wakerewe ubakaji ni jambo la kawaida na unatukuzwa kwa mikono miwili kupitia mila ya Okusombaka.
   Hayo ndiyo maisha ya kawaida kwa wakazi wa Ukerewe mkoani Mwanza wanaotukuza ubakaji, mbakaji anapomaliza tendo hilo, wakati mwingine anashangiliwa kwa kupigiwa vigelegele na akina mama akionekana shujaa wa kuondoa watu mikosi kupitia ubakaji, ingawa wao hutafsiri kuwa wanasomboka. 

   
   

   

   
   
   

   Ubakaji huo kupitia mila ya Okusomboka ni sehemu ya maisha ya kawaida kwa wakazi wa Ukerewe na unaheshimiwa kiasi kwamba wale wanaokataa kubakwa wanatengwa na kunyooshewa vidole kila wanapopita.
   Uchunguzi uliofanywa  wilayani Ukerewe Mkoa wa Mwanza juu ya mila ya Okusomboka (utakasaji) umebainisha vitendo vya ubakaji vimekuwa vikitendeka tangu enzi na enzi na kuingia katika karne hii ya sayansi na teknolojia.
   Ambapo ubakaji huo, unalenga wanawake wajane na unafanyika siku ya nne ya matanga tangu kutokea kifo cha mwanaume ndani ya familia.Bila kujali uchungu anaokuwa nao mjane wa kupoteza mume wake, anatafutiwa mbakaji (Omwesya-yaani mtakasaji) ambaye anakodiwa na kulipwa ujira ili kutekeleza kitendo hicho cha kubaka mjane, ambacho kwa Ukerewe ni cha heshima, katika kuhitimisha uhusiano kati ya mume aliyekufa na mjane aliyebaki.
   Ingawa sheria ya Makosa ya Kujamiiana ya Mwaka 1998 inatoa adhabu kali kwa watu wanaopatikana na hatia ya makosa ya ubakaji, kwa Ukerewe hawajui kama Okusomboka ni kubaka, hivyo kukiuka wazi wazi sheria hiyo inayotolewa kwa watu wanaofanya vitendo hivyo.
   Ubakaji unafanyika kwa uwazi na wameenda mbele zaidi kwani kuna watu maalumu ambao wanalipwa fedha na wakati mwingine hata mifugo kwa ajili ya kuwabaka wanawake wanaofiwa na waume zao kwa hoja kwamba wanatimiza sharti la mila hiyo.
   Mbakaji kabla ya kuanza kitendo hicho, huwa anaandaliwa chakula maalumu ikiwemo pombe ambayo huwa anakunywa na kuchangamka na hapo ndipo anaaza kubaka.

   
   

   Kutokana na hali hiyo wanawake wengi walioolewa wilayani Ukerewe ni wabakwaji watarajiwa na wale watakao kataa kubakwa, basi wajiandae kutengwa na ndugu, kunyooshewa vidole na jamii inayowazunguka na mali za marehemu waume zao kutotolewa urithi.
   Pia, mjane anayekataa kutakaswa ajiandae kutopata mwanaume wa kumuoa.

   
   

   Vikwazo hivyo , ndi vy o vinavyowashinikiza wakubali kubakwa na watu maalumu ambao hukodiwa kwa fedha au kulipwa mifungo kwa ajili ya kubaka wajane. [/FONT]
   Katika mila hii, mwanamke analazimishwa kufanya tendo la ndoa bila ridhaa yake tena na mtu asiyemfahamu na haandaliwi kwa namna yoyote ile kwa ajili ya tendo hilo.
   Wakati kwenye majumba ya utakasaji unafanyikwa kwa njia ya maombi, kwa Ukerewe unafanyika kwa njia ya ubakaji.

   
   

   Okusomboka ni tendo la ndoa linalohusisha watu wawili, mjane ambaye amefiwa na mume au mke na mwingine ambaye yupo kwa ajili ya kazi hiyo.
   Mfano leo hii ikitokea mwanamke akafiwa na mume wake, baada ya mazishi yanafanyika matanga ambapo siku ya nne ya matanga, anakodiwa mtu kutoka miongoni mwa watu wanaokodishwa kwa ajili ya kutakasa mjane na kufanya naye tendo la ndoa tena bila hiari ya mjane.
   Ubakaji uliojificha kwenye mila ya Okusomboka (kutakasa) kwa Wakerewe ni tendo ambalo linafanyika kwa maana ya kuhitimisha uhusiano wa ndoa kati ya mume na mke ulioanzishwa kwa tendo la ndoa, hivyo ni lazima uhusiano huo uhitimishwe kwa tendo hilo kutokana na mmoja wa wanandoa kuwa amefariki.Utakasaji huo unafanyika kwa pande zote yaani mwanake na kwa mwanaume, lakini unatofautiana mazingira unapofanyika.

   
   

   

   Mfano, mwanamke anapofiwa na mume wake anakodishwa mtu maalumu wa kufanya naye tendo la ndoa na hapo kunakuwa hakuna maridhiano yoyote kati ya mtakaswaji na mtakasaji, bali maridhiano yanatokana na kile anacholipwa mtakasaji ndipo anafanya tendo hilo.
   Lakini, mwanaume anapofiwa na mke wake anaenda mwenyewe mtaani kutafuta mwanamke wa kufanya naye tendo la ndoa wakati mwingine akisindikizwa na wapambe watakaothibitisha kwamba, alipata mwanamke na kufanya naye tendo la ndoa, hivyo anakuwa ametakasika.
   Wanafanya hivyo, kwa kuamini kwamba, marehemu wakati anafikwa na mauti hakupata fursa ya mwisho ya kufanya tendo la ndoa hilo na mwenzi wake.Kwa msingi huo, wanafanya hivyo kama ishara ya kuhitimisha uhusiano wa wanandoa hao, yaani marehemu na yule aliyebaki hai.

   
   

   Wakerewe wanaamini kuwa, mjane au mgane akishatakaswa ile mikosi yote iliyosababisha kifo cha marehemu inakuwa imeondolewa yote.Pia wanafanya hivyo kwa kuamini kwamba, marehemu wakati anafikwa na mauti hakupata fursa ya mwisho ya kufanya tendo hilo na mwenzi wake.Hiyo inakuwa ni ishara ya kumalizika kwa uhusiano wa wanandoa hao, yaani marehemu na yule aliyebaki hai.

   
   

   Mmoja wa wazee anayefahamu mila hiyo ambaye pia aliwahi kufanyiwa mila hiyo, Juma Mtallo (83) mkazi wa Nkilizi katika Kijiji cha Mmakeke wilayani Ukerewe, anasema pindi mwanamke anapofiwa na mumewe, kama kawaida yanafanyika matanga kwa siku kati ya tano na saba kulingana na uwezo wa wafiwa.Katika kipindi hicho, mjane huyo anatakiwa kuhudumiwa na kuandaliwa chakula na mtu aliyewahi kufiwa na mwenzi wake.

   
   

   “Anakuwa ndani ya nyumba amefunikwa nguo na wanaoenda kumsalimia na kumhudumia ikiwa ni pamoja na kumpikia chakula ni wale waliowahi kufiwa,” anasema Mtallo.Anasema, kwa kipindi hicho anakuwa hajaoga. “Siku ya nne ndipo wanaanza taratibu za kumuogesha na akishamaliza ndipo anapelekwa kwa mbakaji (mtakasaji).”

   
   

   Anaongeza kwamba baada ya mtakasaji kumaliza kazi hiyo, anaondoka kwa majigambo na wakati mwingine akiimba; “Wanaume wafe wanawake wabaki…wanaume wafe wanawake wabaki,” anasema huku akiongeza huwa anaimba hivyo ili wanaume wazidi kufa na yeye azidi kupata kazi ya kubaka wajane.

   
   

   Kwa mujibu wa mila hiyo, siku ya kubaka, mbakaji huwa anaandaliwa chakula kizuri pamoja na vinywaji hasa pombe kwa gharama za familia inayotakaswa.

   
   

   Mmoja wa wanawake waliowahi kutakaswa, Anna Sebastiane mkazi wa Tarafa ya Ukara Kata ya Bukungu, wilayani Ukerewe anasema, siku mtakasaji anapoenda kutakasa mjane, anapokelewa kwa heshima kubwa.

    Anaeleza kwamba wakati mwingine anaweza kumwambia mtakaswaji; “Hebu cheza nione kama unaweza,” anasema yaani aoneshe umahiri wa kutikisa nyonga wakati wa tendo la ndoa. Anafafanua kwamba, endapo ataona mjane hawezi kutikisa nyonga, anaongeza gharama. Mfano endapo aliwatoza fedha basi atapenda aongezewe kiasi atakachoona kinamfaa au kama ni mifugo kama vile mbuzi, atataka aongezewe mwingine kwa jinsi atakavyoona inafaa.
   Hata pale asipovutiwa sura ya mtakaswaji, mtakasaji anapandisha gharama kwa jinsi atakavyoona inafaa. 
   

   Anasema, endapo utakasaji utafanyika nyumbani kwa marehemu basi ndani ya nyumba inabidi wawepo watoto wake ambao hawajaolewa.

   

   
   

   “Wakati utakasaji unafanyika (ubakaji) watoto wanakuwa wanasikia jinsi Omwezya (mtakasaji) anavyonguruma (akitoa maelekezo kwa sauti nene akimwelekeza mjane jinsi anavyotaka alale au namna ambavyo anataka atingishe nyonga yake) na hapo kitanda kinachokuwa kinatumika ni cha marehemu,” anasema Sebastiane.

   
   

   Anapoulizwa kama watoto wanasikia hiyo sauti? Sebastiane anacheka kwanza huku akivuta pumzi, kisha anasema; “Sio watoto peke yake, hata wanaokuwa nje wanafahamu kinachoendelea …si unaona hali ya nyumba zetu (mbovu kiasi kwamba nyingi hazina faragha). Anasema anakuwa anahimiza mtakaswaji atingishe nyonga ili apate raha.

   
   

   “Watakasaji wengine, hawakuwa na staha na tendo la ndoa, kwani walipokaribia mshindo (kutoa mbegu za uzazi) walipiga kelele kwa kunogewa na uhondo wakati huo huo akiashiria kwamba kazi aliyopewa amehitimisha,” anasema na kuongeza kuwa akishamaliza anavaa nguo na kutoka nje ya nyumba kwa mbwe mbwe kisha kulipwa chake.

   
   

   Anasema, watakasaji wengine waliondoka wakiimba; “wanaume wafe wanawake wabaki..wanaume wa f e wa n awa k e wa b a k i . ” Anasema hiyo kwa kufurahia kile walicholipwa. “Wakati anaondoka anapigiwa vigelegele na akina mama kwa kufurahia kuhitimisha mila hiyo…mila hii unaweza kuiona ni mbaya, lakini yakishakufika utaona umuhimu wake,” anasema Sebastiane.

   
   

   Hata hivyo, anasema: “ Mila hii (Okusomboka) ni aibu kwa watoto wanaokuwa ndani ya nyumba wakisikiliza mama yao akitakaswa, huku akihimizwa atingishe nyonga… tendo la ndoa linahitaji faragha, lakini utakasaji hauna faragha na unamdhalilisha mwanamke,” anasema na kuongeza kuwa ni jambo la aibu ndiyo maana tendo la ndoa linahitaji faragha.

   
   

   Sebastiane anapoulizwa kama mtakasaji anatumia kondomu ili kujikinga na magonjwa, anasema jambo hilo halipo.Pia anasema, mtakasaji na mtakaswaji wanatakiwa wafanye tendo moja la ndoa (yaani mshindo mmoja) na wasifanye tena tendo hilo maishani mwao, endapo wakirudia watakuwa wamekiuka sharti la mila hiyo hivyo mikosi inaweza kurudia familia ya mjane.

   
   

   “Kwa hiyo atalazimika atakaswe (abakwe) upya na mtakasaji mwingine, vinginevyo wanaamini kuwa familia yake itaendelea kuandamwa na mikosi,” anasema . [/FONT]
   [FONT=&quot]Anataja mikosi hiyo kuwa ni pamoja na familia kuandamwa na vifo na kuugua mara kwa mara.

   
   

   MASHAHIDI

   
   

   Mashahidi wanaoshuhudia tukio hilo, wanasema wanakuwepo kwa ajili ya kuhakikisha kwamba tendo hilo limefanyika, ili kuondoa wasiwasi wa wajane kudanganya. Mjane mwingine, Arodia Gabaseki (64) mkazi wa Kata ya Ulagala, Tarafa ya Masonga wilayani Ukerewe anasema mashuhuda wanakuwa nje katika mazingira ambayo watakuwa na uhakika kuwa tendo hilo linafanyika.

   
   

   Anasema kwamba, kutokana na wajane kuogopa mikosi, lazima wakubali na kwamba mgurumo wa mtakasaji nao kwa wakati mwingine ni ishara nzuri kwao. Anaeleza kwamba, mara baada ya kutakaswa anarejea nyumbani akiwa ameinamisha kichwa chini na kupokewa kwa furaha na wanandugu waliopo kwenye matanga, kwa kuwa wanaamini kuwa uhusiano kati ya mjane na marehemu umehitimishwa na hakuna matatizo yoyote yanayoweza kuwapata.

   
   

   SIFA YA MTAKASAJI 
   Ofisa wa Taasisi ya Kuboresha Mila na Desturi katika Jamii ya Ukerewe (KUMIDEU), taasisi ambayo inajihusisha kutoa elimu ya kutokomeza mila ya kutakasa wajane, Musiba Kakulu anasema mtakasaji ni mtu anayeonekana hakubaliki ndani ya jamii kutokana na matendo hayo.

   

   
   

   Anasema, watakasaji wengi ni walevi, wachafu, wasiokuwa na wanawake na mara nyingi walitegemea kuendesha maisha yao kwa kutegemea malipo wanayopata kwa njia ya utakasaji.

   
   

   “Kutokana na umuhimu wa mila ya kutakasa, mtakasaji (Omwezya) anakuwa hana umuhimu ndani ya jamii,” anasema Kakulu. Sifa nyingine anasema ni mtu anayejua dawa na anayependa kusimamia mila na desturi.

   
   

   Pamoja na kuwa na hali hiyo, lakini thamani yao inaonekana pale walipohitajika kutakasa, kwani watu wenye heshima zao ndani ya jamii hawakubali kabisa kutakasa watu ambao tena haijulikani wenzi wao wamefariki kwa magonjwa gani.

   
   

   Mtakaswaji kama ni bibi kikongwe, anapata shida kwani mtakasaji anatoza gharama kubwa kama vile ng’ombe wakati uwezo anakuwa hana, lakini ndugu lazima wachangishane ili wampate ng’ombe huyo,” anasema.

   
   

   Anasema, wakati mwingine mtakasaji anapotakiwa kwenda kwa mtakaswaji na ni mzee sana analazimika atafutiwe usafiri hadi nyumbani kwa mjane.

   Tushirikiane Kuelimisha jamii hizi kuondkana na mila hizi potofu.
   Mkurugenzi Mtendaji SMGEO
   Morogoro Tanzania 

Ukivunja ahadi ya ndoa ni ubakaji India

1. 
   Image caption Onyo: Ukivunja ahadi ya ndoa ni ubakaji India
   Polisi nchini India wamemkamata mwanamume mmoja raia wa Scotland kwa madai ya ubakaji baada ya kuvunja ahadi ya ndoa na mwanamke aliyeshiriki ngono naye.
   
   
   Mtu huyo alituhumiwa kwa kosa hilo baada ya aliyekuwa mpenziwe kumshataki kuwa amevunja ahadi ya kufunga ndoa.
   
   Mwanamme huyo alikuwa akifanya kazi kwenye ukumbi wa mazoezi mjini Delhi na inaarifiwa kuwa alikuwa katika uhusiano na mwanadada huyo kwa muda wa miezi 5.
   
   
   Baada ya mwanamme huyo kuvunja uhusiano kati yao, mwanadada huyo alimshtaki.
   
   Anasema kuwa aliitikia kushiriki mapenzi naye kwani mwanamme huyo alimwarifu kuwa angemwoa.
   
   Image copyright AP
   Image caption Mwanamume huyo anakabiliwa na kifungo cha miaka kumi gerezani
   Mwanamume huyo anakabiliwa na kifungo cha miaka kumi gerezani iwapo atapatikana na hatia na mahakama ya nchi hiyo.
   
   India iko katika njia panda kuhusiana na mabadiliko ya maadili na mtazamo dhidi ya kushiriki mapenzi nje ya ndoa.
   
   Katika miaka ya hivi karibuni kumekuwa na kesi kadha zinazokabiliana na kuvunjwa kwa ahadi ya ndoa na kuibua swali iwapo ni kosa la ubakaji ukishiriki ngono na mwanamke kisha uvunje ahadi ya kumuoa.